I'm a very busy girl. I am the wife of a minster to a small church which usually means that if the church is doing something we are heading it up. I am a home schooler which means I have lessons to plan, school outings to attend and teaching to do. I am mom to two children involved in 4-H & Boy Scouts which means there are meetings to attend, projects to complete and badges to be sewn. I am a babysitter which means there are snacks to be given, wills to be battled and love to be given (often through gritted teeth). I am the church fellowship ministry leader, Sunday school superintendent, Sunday school teacher, children's church director/teacher, Home Extension secretary/treasurer and the sole driver in the household. I am a Christian, a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend.

So often, I look at this list and at my very full calendar and think to myself that I am really doing a lot. Poor, little, under-appreciated Michelle. Shouldn't there be a day where everyone just stops what they're doing and applauds my noble efforts? Hmm, maybe not...

I came across this blog today http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/. Wow! I was taken for a loop. I feel humbled and ashamed. I'm sure she's not perfect or infallible but she does what she does for Christ. She sheds real tears for those around her and then takes action to help. She is probably much busier than I'll ever be. She has given all and continues to look for ways to give. I admire this young woman, but I sincerely doubt that she wants or needs my admiration.

So, am I ready to jump on the next flight to Uganda? Probably not. That is the way God is using her life for the Kingdom. Do her gifts and sacrifices make mine any less important? No. So what is the lesson to be learned here?

The first is this...

I need to come down from my self-constructed pedestal where I worship my time and my efforts and me, me, me. Christ needs to be on the throne in my heart and all I do should be for him and him alone.

Col. 3:23-24

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

The second is this...

I am very busy and do a lot, but so much of that is just busy work because I do not do it out of love. It's true that some people are very hard to love. We all are! But, I am called to love. I am not called to keep busy and have resentment and anger in my heart.

1 Cor. 13:1-3

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

So, this is my prayer; to be used by Christ for Christ and to do it all in love.

Okay, so I've become a bit of a complainer. Snow - blah. Car issues - blah. Interruptions - blah. Sewer issues - blah. Blah, blah, blah. I really don't like being like this. I used to be such a sunny, silver-lining-seeker of a girl. So, instead of sitting around complaining about the fact that I'm complaining, I thought I'd take steps to change. In my opinion, the best way to stop griping about what's wrong is to focus on what's right. Here's an idea that I'm swiping from a facebook friend of mine, Julie Swaim. (http://www.pearlsandjulesofwisdom.blogspot.com/)

Ten Things Tuesday

What I'm thankful for today...

1. Our kitties lost their social standing and their front claws and are recovering nicely. As an added bonus, the bill was considerably less than we thought it would be.

2. I recently discovered we are not behind in school as I once feared. At the pace we're on, we could be done by mid-May.

3. We had a houseful of people on Sunday! This is something I have been missing for a while now. I hope it's the start of a trend.

4. I've recently started to see glimpses of the kind, tender hearts I thought my children had lost.

5. My house is company ready and it's been that way since Saturday! If you rang my doorbell right now, I would let you come all the way in.

6. There is someone voluntarily and unexpectedly clearing the snow out of my driveway as I type! He's now finished and is moving on to bless someone else. I love to see the generosity and kindness of others.

7. My car is in the shop and will hopefully run much smoother and quieter when I pick it up later this week.

8. I think I know what I want to be when I grow up - a nurse. I will finally be going to college when Rob is done. I'm excited about it and a little fearful.

9. Someone offered to give us a piano. We have a space ready. Now I just need good weather, some burly men and a truck to get it over here. Then Megan can practice every day and we will not miss lessons because of my forgetfulness.

10. LOST is on tonight!!!

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Chistmas

Things are a little different this Christmas around the Petersen household. For starters: no tree. We have two young kittens and I'm quite certain that a tree would spend more time lying down than standing up. So, since I like the kittens, my ornaments and my sanity; we chose to be tree-less.

We began home schooling this year so the kids and I have had extra time to make decorations and ornaments. We have garland all the way around the living room and will soon have home made ornaments hanging from it. They've made Nativity dioramas, wreaths from their hand prints, and paper trees to count down the days till Christmas. So who needs a tree anyway?

We also will get to string the gifting part of Christmas out for a few weeks. My parents hope to come to visit the weekend before Christmas, (Shh, don't tell the kids. It's a surprise!). Of course the kids will be opening presents then and hopefully presenting gifts to Grandma and Grandpa as well. We have a few things we've purchased that they will get to open on December 25th. Also, because of emergency car repairs, we will be finishing present purchasing some time after Christmas.

So to sum up - Petersen Christmas, 2009: different but maybe even better than the normal.

Buttons

I began planning our children's Christmas program for church, today. I found a really cute one about "Happy Birthday Jesus" buttons. We get to make buttons for all the kids to wear and buttons to hand out to everyone who comes to watch. There are even some children in the program who dress up as buttons. It got me to thinking, what kind of button do I wear? Do I announce good news? Complain about life? Offer encouragement or just crude humor? When people pass my way what does my life shout out to them? I think too often that I'm wearing one of those holographic images. Look at me from one side and you see a happy little picture with an uplifting message written in an elegant script. Shift your position a little and a whole new image comes forth. It's dark and grim and the doom and gloom statement screams out at you in bold red caps. How does a person balance this out? When I'm down do I still pin on the yellow smiley face offering a "Nice Day" to all who meet me? Or is it better to lay it all out there with a button that would frighten small children? Perhaps, I'm looking at this all wrong. Maybe my button should have nothing to do with moods or which direction the reader is coming from. Perhaps, it has nothing at all to do with me. I think regardless of the picture on the front or the state I'm in when wearing it, my button should always say the same thing. Jesus. That's it. That's the message I want to bring to everyone I encounter.

Where has the year gone?

Wow! Has it really been almost a year since I last blogged? That's just crazy!

This year has flown by in a whirlwind of failures and successes. I am now home schooling the kids which has been great. We are still in Edinburg and Rob is still working on his Masters at Lincoln Christian University. We are busy with church, school, 4-H, Boy Scouts, babysitting and camp. I hope to be on here more so that I can share, vent and work out my every day challenges.

Ahhh, Christmas

I'm really getting excited about the next few weeks. This Friday, we have Parent's Night Out at the church - we take care of everyone's kids so that they can go out. We'll have food, games, crafts, movies, etc. Next week, is going to be like a roller coaster ride of busy-ness.
Sunday - Church Chistmas program in the AM and caroling in the PM.
Monday - Ladies Dessert Recipe Exchange at the church
Tuesday - Rob's eye appointment in the AM and Girl Scouts in the PM
Wednesday - Christmas Concert at the school
Thursday - School Christmas parties in early PM & Christmas party and meeting at the camp in the evening
Friday - I and the kids leave for Joplin
Saturday - Mom's graduation and party afterwards
Somewhere in all this craziness, I have to make a cake and cupcakes, pack, buy gift exchange presents, teacher's presents and a few more presents for our kids.
Then the kids and I stay in Joplin until Tuesday morning. We'll come home and the only plans we'll have is a candlelight program at church on Christmas Eve. Then, we get to relax and enjoy Christmas.

2 Steps Forward, 3 Steps Back

In cleaning out my email "in-box", I came across this email...

May 3, 2008
Today marks the beginning of my 34th year. I feel a strong pull to make this year a turning point for me. Lately I have been easily angered, frustrated and blue. This is not me. That's not who I am and not who I want to become. I want to be more. I want to have an intimate relationship w/God, w/Jesus and w/the Holy Spirit. I want to be the wife and mother that I dream of being; one who is patient and fun; one who enjoys time w/her family. I want to be who my God designed me to be. This is my prayer on this my 33rd birthday. Dear Heavenly Father, please make something of my life. Take me out of this day-to-day merely existing and getting by. Help me to live this life you've given me. Oh, how I've wasted the past 33 years. I've let so many opportunities to serve, to grow, to love slip by unnoticed. I have been given the most precious gifts; salvation, my husband, my kids and so much more. Yet every day I wait for what's around the corner. I want to stop looking around the corner. I want to stop waiting for life to begin. Please help me to give my every moment to you. Please help me to make my life a sacrifice to you, starting today. Please guide me in this journey to knowing and serving you more. In Jesus' name, Amen.

On my birthday, I decided I was going to journal by emailing myself every day. You wanna know how well I kept this up? This entry is one of two. Two! In the past six months, I have only done this twice?!? It's so irritating. This is a never-ending cycle for me. I have struggles in life and get down and depressed. I throw a pity party. Then, I dry my eyes and realize that I've let my relationship w/my savior fall to the wayside. I make a plan of how to remedy that. I go strong for a couple days or weeks. Then I get busy or whatever and let it slip again. A few months later, life happens again and I start all over. Why is it that the one relationship that is most important, most beneficial and should be the easiest to keep up is the one I struggle with the most?